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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608414">Drunk Confessions, Little Secrets</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/everee/pseuds/everee'>everee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cheesy, Confessions, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Kim Hongjoong is Whipped, M/M, Oblivious, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Secrets, Stress Relief, Whipped Cream, Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/everee/pseuds/everee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hongjoong is obviously drunk, and Seonghwa is there-watching him unfold every little secret he never knew he could ever even say.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Drunk Confessions, Little Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is inspired by a tweet i found on twitter (obviously) </p><p>credits to: @correcthonghwa for this idea T-T</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is nothing more stressful than dedicating your time to a project, putting all your heartfelt emotions into it, revising it over and over again for it to be perfect, but in the end—it’s taken for granted. All those hours wasted for it to be rejected in a single minute, Hongjoong felt devastated upon hearing the news that the song he composed wasn’t accepted to be part of their new album.  </p><p> </p><p>"What’s wrong with it? What is it lacking? How perfectly does it need to be accepted?” Hongjoong questioned himself as he gripped his hair in frustration as he couldn’t think of any possible answer or reason to his own question. Could it be that he just wasn’t capable of making a good song? Could it be because he just isn’t skilled enough to produce something ground-breaking? Hongjoong was halfway convinced that that was the case, but he didn’t want to think that way. He’s more than that, maybe he just had to try harder.  </p><p> </p><p>Try harder. Yeah, as if he didn’t try doing so. As if he didn’t commit to try and become better. He did, maybe it just isn’t enough for him to be great.  </p><p> </p><p>Drowned in his thoughts of self-worthlessness, he reached out to his phone—which was sitting in between his pile of song worksheets that were probably considered useless as of now. Hastily, he dialed the only number he could think of at the moment—San's. And so his phone rang, with his crossed arms covering his face, he waited, hoping for the younger to pick up. With his unstable mind and swirling emotions that he couldn’t put a finger on, he badly needed a shoulder to cry on.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, you called,” San spoke on the other side of the phone. He sounded happy, unlike the emotion that Hongjoong was currently experiencing.  </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, hey,” Hongjoong responded with a faltering tone. He didn’t have the heart nor the energy to even hide his sadness and San quickly caught up that something was bothering his dear brother.  </p><p> </p><p>“Is there something wrong? You seem sad.” San queried softly. </p><p> </p><p>“Can we go out for a drink?” Hongjoong replied, dodging the younger’s question, yet it still gave San a proper idea to answer his question.  </p><p> </p><p>“Sad, indeed.” San chuckled lightly “What’s the problem, Hyung? Why do you want to drink all of a sudden?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell you later, just please...” Hongjoong let out an exasperated sigh “I just want to get rid of these unnecessary emotions that are building up inside of me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough. I’ll get changed.” With that, their call ended. And with all the willpower that Hongjoong had left, he stood up from his working chair and packed up his stuff in his sling bag.  </p><p> </p><p>Shortly—well specifically 30 minutes after their conversation on the phone, San arrived and picked up Hongjoong from the company. From the look of Hongjoong’s eyes alone, San could see how worn he looked, it rattled a sense of concern within him as he rarely sees his Hyung with an expression like this.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung...what happened?” San asked Hongjoong. The elder didn’t answer, remaining silent in his seat “Hyung, I asked what’s wrong?” </p><p> </p><p>“Later, San,” Hongjoong replied rather coldly. San didn’t retort back, allowing silence to engulf the space between them. The deafening silence worsened Hongjoong’s mental state, the little whispers he could hear in his mind began speaking to him, eager to make him feel worse about himself “Can you kindly turn on some music? I don’t want to think about anything right now.”  </p><p> </p><p>San responded with a tiny nod and turned up the radio, shooting Hongjoong a concerned look before facing the road again, stepping on the gas as he was aching to know what was going on inside his hyung’s puzzled mind.  </p><p> </p><p>After a short 5-minute ride, they arrived at a private bar—their usual drinking place. Hongjoong was quick to exit the car and rummage his hand inside his sling bag to search for his card, showed it to the guard for verification that he was indeed an adult despite having the height of an 18-year-old—then entered the bar afterward, along with San following him like a puppy.  </p><p> </p><p>Once they made themselves comfortable, along with drinks on their table, San faced his Hyung and looked at him straight in the eye and told him “Now tell me what’s wrong, Hyung.” </p><p> </p><p>“That song that I worked on for weeks—” Hongjoong paused, drinking an adequate amount of soju that was in his glass before continuing his statement “Gor rejected, again.” </p><p> </p><p>Now San understood why. The reason why his eyes held sadness, why he stayed silent in the car, and why he asked him to come over and have a drink. San knew how dedicated Hongjoong is in his work, and to see him sulk over the fact that his work got denied again made his heartache in pain. San was quick to emphasize Hongjoong’s pain and gave him the hug that he obviously needed.  </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay Hyung, your work will get accepted next time—” San attempted to comfort him with words, but Hongjoong cut him off immediately.  </p><p> </p><p>“That’s what everybody says, that’s what everybody thinks, but it’s not. I’ve tried over and over again, San. It still didn’t get accepted. This is the fourth song that they rejected, tell me, are my works ever good enough? Will they ever be good enough?” </p><p> </p><p>“Of course, they are, why wouldn’t it be?” San replied sincerely as he watched Hongjoong gulp another glass of soju “Hyung, you shouldn’t allow their opinions to make you feel less valid. After all, it all depends on the eyes or in this case, ears of the beholder. Maybe they just don’t see how much potential there is in your works.”  </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” All Hongjoong could do was sigh, pour more soju into his glass, and shoved the throat-burning liquid down his throat. It became an endless cycle for hours, and that was when San began to become more concerned.  </p><p> </p><p>So, he decided to dial Seonghwa’s number “Hyung, I need help.” </p><p> </p><p>“With what?” Seonghwa answered, baffled.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hongjoong hyung’s drunk...” San replied hastily. Seonghwa sighed upon hearing San’s response. </p><p> </p><p>“And why is he drunk exactly?” Seonghwa interrogated in a strict tone “You know out of all people that Hongjoong isn’t allowed to drink. He should never be even 1 meter near a bottle of soju.” </p><p> </p><p>“I couldn’t help it, he begged me. And he was really feeling under the weather, I’m sorry.” San apologized “But can you please come over here? He’s still drunk and I have a date with Woo by 6 pm. Please Hyung, just this once?” </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa sighed in defeat and rushed over to his cabinet to grab his coat “Fine, I’m on my way.” </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“Oh God, how many bottles did you make him drink?” Seonghwa almost barfed at the stench that entered his nose once he arrived where San and Hongjoong were.  </p><p> </p><p>“Almost 4 bottles...Hyung I really tried to stop him but he gave me the puppy eyes.” San confessed nervously “I promise to not let him drink again after this.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah right.” Seonghwa sarcastically said as he placed his coat on the seat next to Hongjoong’s “Just go, I don’t want to bear seeing a sulky Wooyoung after I deal with the other one here.”  </p><p> </p><p>“And I haven’t paid for the drinks yet so could you pay for them?” San pleaded “I promise to pay you back.” </p><p> </p><p>“You better.” Seonghwa gritted his teeth “Now go.” </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks a lot, Hyung, you’re a lifesaver.” San thanked him, then went over to grab his things and dash out of the bar, leaving the Matz duo all alone by themselves, one of them intoxicated with alcohol, and the other was frustrated on how to deal with his drunk partner.  </p><p> </p><p>“Do you know...how hard it was for me to stop myself from going home every night when I was in the middle of composing songs?” Hongjoong drunkenly confessed all of a sudden, which piqued Seonghwa’s interest.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” Seonghwa replied.  </p><p> </p><p>“I feel bad for constantly leaving you guys, for pushing you all away solely because I was too focused on my work. I spent so much time trying to perfect my work but, in the end, —didn’t get accepted at all. I should’ve just spent time with you guys instead of wasting my time working on something that would never be appreciated.” Hongjoong said. Despite being drunk, Seonghwa could feel the sincerity in his words, how much he wanted to say that but never could until now “But do you know whom I feel guilty to the most?” </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa remained silent, too immersed by the sight of Hongjoong’s drunken eyes staring at his. Once again, he felt the familiar feeling of his heart increasing its speed merely by the sight of the boy in front of him, an exhilarating feeling that he thought he wasn’t valid enough to feel, because why the heck would he catch feelings for a man? Especially the leader of his own team, Kim Hongjoong—whom he considered as a best friend, but his heart speaks that he is more than just a friend to him. But that would be too bizarre, right? </p><p> </p><p>“Seonghwa.” The said man was surprised to hear his name, eyes wide open as he watched the tipsy fellow’s smile turn into a frown “Why? Well...mainly because I treat him too harshly sometimes. He's always the one who asks to hang out with me, but I reject him all the time. Those little moments when he lends his hand to me, asking me to hold it, but I never do so anyway. I always try to push him away, but I don’t exactly know why I do that. He probably has this secret hatred for me, and I don’t blame him, I hate myself too.” </p><p> </p><p>At this point, Seonghwa’s felt like he has just run a marathon due to how fast his heart was beating, but it was also mixed by a slight feeling of aching upon hearing what Hongjoong just said to him. It was indeed true that he would be disappointed when the younger would reject his offers, but it would be too much to say that he hates him for doing so. He could never have the heart to hate him, he adored him too much.  </p><p> </p><p>It wouldn’t be safe to say that Seonghwa indeed has feelings for Hongjoong, but unfortunately, that was the case. He loves how imperfectly perfect he is. The way his eyes smile when his lips do the same, how suddenly his world lights up whenever there’s a smile on his face, the way he looks so tiny from a distance, and how he would act so mean as a way of expressing his innermost feelings. How caring he is as a leader and as a brother, just every single aspect of him is so lovable in Seonghwa’s eyes.  </p><p> </p><p>After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And for Seonghwa, not only is Hongjoong beautiful on the outside but the inside as well. Hongjoong could be beauty itself and he wouldn’t dare complain about it.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, San—” Oh yeah, he still thinks that the man sitting in front of him is San, not Seonghwa. Honestly, Seonghwa kind of found it cute and chose to not reveal his identity “You know, I think Seonghwa’s eyes are beautiful. I love the way they sparkle with life, like vast stars in the night sky.” </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, flustered by the younger’s words “W-What did you say again?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hehe, you didn’t hear it did you? Good then, let’s keep it our little secret, hmm?” Hongjoong placed his hand on Seonghwa’s shoulder, making him flinch lightly due to his touch “Let’s go home now, the ground keeps spinning.” </p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong made an obvious unsuccessful attempt of standing up, only for him to trip and hit his butt hard on the floor. Seonghwa then panicked and placed Hongjoong’s arm on his shoulder, giving him physical support as he helped him up.  </p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?” Seonghwa asked with worry.  </p><p> </p><p>“It hurts...and the world is still spinning,” Hongjoong answered drowsily, his head was constantly moving around, eyes were barely open and his pinkish lips were forming a tiny pout that matched his burning cheeks.  </p><p> </p><p>“Here...” The latter then moved his pouting lips closer to Seonghwa, making him blush even more “I’m just kidding, I’d only give my lips to Seonghwa, not you San. You obviously belong to Wooyoung.” </p><p> </p><p>“I-I uh...let’s just go,” Seonghwa whispered, holding Hongjoong tight as he moved over to pick up his things and as well as his coat in his hand. He then approached the counter and paid for the drinks that the drunken man in his arms had finished. And after a little bit of struggle, he managed to place Hongjoong inside his car and as well as his belongings into the backseat.  </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa took a deep breath, trying to process what had just happened and everything that he heard from the younger just minutes ago, it began driving him crazy. Seonghwa gently caressed his cheeks, his cold hands feeling the heat coming from his cheeks. He quickly glanced over to the backseat to see Hongjoong sleeping peacefully, then turned away as he felt the blush in his cheeks become even hotter.  </p><p> </p><p>“Now, compose yourself, Park Seonghwa.” And after a minute of doing breathing exercises, he started the engine and began driving back to their dormitory.  </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa gently moved Hongjoong out of the car, holding him bridal-style as it was easier to do so. The members noticed them from outside the house and were kind enough to open the door for both of them.  </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, what happened? Why is Hongjoong Hyung passed out?” Yunho questioned with concern as he eyed their unconscious leader.  </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, he just had a few drinks. He just needs his much-needed rest.” Seonghwa kindly assured him “Would you open the door to our room? He’s getting a little bit too heavy to hold.” </p><p> </p><p>“Sure.” Yunho made his way to their room and opened the door. Seonghwa didn’t waste a second and thanked Yunho, then proceeded to enter their room and place him down his bed.  </p><p> </p><p>“God, I hope you never drink again.” Seonghwa sat down on his bed as he tried to catch his breath, and the fact that he was staring at Hongjoong’s sleeping state wasn’t helping because he looked breathtaking. </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa breathed in a sigh and stood up to properly place the blanket on Hongjoong’s body, making sure that he was warm. With that, he went over to the door, turned off the lights, and left the room </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong fluttered his eyes open, only to feel his head throbbing immensely, making him groan in pain. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to make out the scenery of the room despite it being filled with nothing but darkness. Surprisingly, he made his way out of the bedroom, only to be greeted by the bright light of the morning sun coming out of the windows.  </p><p> </p><p>“What time is it?” Hongjoong mumbled lightly, scratching his hair in confusion.  </p><p> </p><p>“It’s currently 9:30 Hyung.” San—who was sitting on the couch, responded to him.  </p><p> </p><p>“9:30?! I’m late for work!” Hongjoong began to panic.  </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, we asked Manager-nim if you could take a day off and he agreed,” San told him, calming down his nerves.  </p><p> </p><p>“By the way, what happened?” Hongjoong questioned, still feeling dizzy.  </p><p> </p><p>“You got drunk and passed out, Hyung.” Slowly, the memories began coming back to him, but most of them were blurry. But then, a sense of panic overwhelmed him as he remembered himself blabbing about the secret that he’s never told anyone, until now.  </p><p> </p><p>“San, you were the one who accompanied me in the bar, right?” Hongjoong queried nervously “Please tell me it was you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah, I was the one who bought you to the bar.” San answered, but Hongjoong took a breath of relief too soon “But Seonghwa was the one who accompanied you after that and dragged you home.” </p><p> </p><p>A rush of panic began to strangle him alive, fearing that he had just done the one thing that he feared to do most “Did I... tell you a secret of some sort?” </p><p> </p><p>“Secret? What secret?” That gave Hongjoong the signal that his end was near. Dread began to take over his body as he bit his nails nervously “You should ask Seonghwa Hyung, maybe you told him your secret instead of me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hongjoong-ah!” A voice called, and Hongjoong vividly knew whom it belonged to. He turned around to see Seonghwa in an apron, holding a bowl of hangover soup in his hands, then placed it in the dinner table “Come here and drink your hangover soup.” </p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong gulped nervously and approached the dining table, cautiously taking a seat, feeling constant uneasiness with Seonghwa’s eyes wrapped around his being. He picked up the spoon and drank the soup, giving him a slight feeling of warmth in his body.  </p><p> </p><p>After that, he inhaled a deep breath and looked at Seonghwa in the eye “Did I perhaps, tell you a secret?” </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa remained silent for a moment, only to respond with “No... I don’t think so.” </p><p> </p><p>“Huh...” Hongjoong was visibly confused but felt super relieved that he didn’t actually expose his biggest secret. Oh if only he knew that that wasn’t the case at all. </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me about this secret of yours then...” Seonghwa teased, making the younger flustered.  </p><p> </p><p>“I-If I tell you, it wouldn’t be considered a secret anymore.” Hongjoong stuttered, nervously taking sips of the hangover soup that Seonghwa made for him.  </p><p> </p><p>“Fine then.” Seonghwa huffed out and walked away, hiding the sinister smile that was beginning to form on his lips as the memory of Hongjoong telling his little secret replays itself in his mind.</p>
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